I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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