I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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