She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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