There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
