and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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