remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
