Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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