Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
smell my finger.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
