I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
