Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
