Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
