Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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