I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
