i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
