After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
