I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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