She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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