It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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