okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize