we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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