Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
