Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize