I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
