Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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