haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
