Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize