id be glad to
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I look better un-naked...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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