..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
