Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
