We're facebook friends in real life
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need to align my fucking chakras
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
