Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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