Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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