I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
