Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
