Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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