Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
