Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
