you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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