i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
