Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
