I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
