They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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