Do you still have your period?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The adults are the big ones right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
