I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
