that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
