So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Shame is for Republicans.
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