I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
