You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
