your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize