Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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