Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
