let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
