So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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