Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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