While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
