What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
