she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
