Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
