i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
