And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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