Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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