ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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