I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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