OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
