i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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