My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
