dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
